8:17am
The core of most spiritual texts promotes mindfulness and living moment to moment in (achieved through practices like meditation/conscious breath/nature walks) as the means to attain Peace and Connection (with the Creator/Higher power/Self....)
Our current society has the complete opposite agenda; pulling us out of the present moment is the unspoken activity or even perhaps agenda in almost all realms.
Education is learning history
(Focusing on the past)
What if we focused on our current moments and growing bodies and how to feel better now?
Entertainment is focused on fantasy and helping us live vicariously through the brave and charismatic and sexy heroes and villains we watch, all while pulling us out of our own chance at these adventures
What if entertainment was educational and taught us how to afford to travel the world (once quarantine ends)/how to stay healthy enough to climb mountains/how to speak up for ourselves to break up fights like in the movies!? Luckily, Youtube makes this somewhat easier to find out!
Our medical system wants us to be "pain free" and turn off all our discomforts whereas I now believe pain is a messenger that is guiding us to our present moment (instead of an annoyance) ? What if instead of "shooting the messenger", we acknowledge it and/or even thank it for screaming out for us to address what is underlying our present body's moment and heal whatever is happening to us!
Instead we are given pain meds to be pulled out of the present moment and then, if addicted to these pain meds for our day to day activities, we are perpetually in a limbo where no progress can be made and our bodies are given the equivalent of tape on the mouth (wearing masks) and stifling their screams for action!
Because we are not taught nutrition or ways to get to the root of the pain we don’t know there is another way than to numb the present moment!!!!
Social media is the epitome of “NOT BEING IN THE PRESENT" as it is all past tense romanticizing/future tense thinking in that we are a) pulled out of our bodies to focus on someone else and on top of that, b) the person making the memory/sharing the post is equally pulled out of their bodies to begin filming the moment for you to watch.
In both cases everyone is pulled out of the present moment !
But this makes sense if your present moment feels terrible:
Your messy house
Your bills
Your medical problems
Your family
Who wouldn’t want to escape into the 1 dimensional screen ?
When our peers become elderly, I wonder if they will look back and recall more fun memories from the people they see on the screen than their own memories?
Jordan Peterson has an expression "Clean up your room" which is all about how your room is a reflection of your outer world; I think this is so accurate (especially since I just moved)
And this idea can be extended to activism...
People are quick to go on social media and virtue signal/ shame others - yet in their own immediate lives, they are not really doing anything differently to clean up their own environments/race relations...
In order to have world peace, we must begin with inner peace...and in order to attain that, we must feel all the terrible pains we need to heal in order to move forward. This feels true on a personal and societal level....
I am doing my best to feel everything I need to feel in order to move forward and I am very proud of myself for this commitment...
But as I feel everything more deeply (with the help of breathwork/my daily hypnosis from ToBeMagnetic.com/low internet usage) I am listening to my intuition more and more - about what is happening in society (quarantine/riots), and I DO NOT TRUST THE OFFICIAL STORY - AT ALL :)
It does not feel right in my gut and this is why I want to start a podcast or some kind of public conversation where I talk to people on both sides of an issue without making either of them wrong (and sometimes more than 2 issues)....with the hopes that I can learn from it...
Before I embark on any external pursuit like this though, I know have had to do a lot of inner work around authentic self expression (since the only times in the past where I performed/wrote/did comedy, I was still trying to "please other people" instead of doing what I truly wanted to do...)
I have to first accept the fact that people may think I am crazy for my views - but in a way, my views are CRAZY to most people; and that is OK....
It is the CRAZY stuff which has helped me GET SANE...
I have successfully healed myself from a lifetime of "incurable" mental and physical issues using modalities that would be deemed CRAZY such as muscle testing/past life regression/breathwork/hypnosis/detoxing from Gardasil/driving on the back of a 2 hour motorcycle ride to meet a healer in the middle of rural Bali who pressed a branch into my toe to relieve my grief... and so much more...
These crazy things have helped me when no "sane" thing such as talk-therapy/antidepressants/insulin/other pharmaceuticals did...
... so in a way, I should feel honored to be seen as crazy ... but I know this shadow is taking a while to heal, and I am being patient :)
~~~
Today I posted on Facebook about the 5..G summit and a girl on my Facebook wrote "Lol" which confused me and equally made me feel insecure...
Does she think I am crazy? Does she think I should be posting about riots instead and perceiving me as insensitive? What does this random girl who I haven't spoken to for over a year and only met 3x think of me???!
Even though I had about 17 lovely people who liked my post and wrote thankful comments, when I saw that this girl wrote "Lol", I immediately felt anxiety and thought she was judging me as "crazy" for being concerned about wireless radiation; I felt like she was dismissing my experience and it made me hurt ... ISN'T THAT EMBARASSING TO ADMIT HOW MUCH I CARED ABOUT WHAT A STRANGER THOUGHT OF ME?
Of course, she could have just written "Lol" because she thought I was a funny writer (?!) but either way, I don't know the true answer so I am projecting based on my own insecurities ...
As I mentioned earlier, I think the best way to have progress is to have messy conversations led by curiosity not judgement... and I admit, I completely judged her for her comment!
The thing is, my intuition tells me that anyone who would write "Lol" to a serious post is not really looking to engage in a civil way ... and when I looked at her page, I got the sense that this person was very angry (rightfully so) about current events; but is perhaps looking to pick an argument....
I decided to lie down and do the Trigger Hypnosis from ToBeMagnetic.com afterwards to see exactly why I was triggered and I traced it back to feeling judged/bullied throughout life and feeling unsafe that nobody will help me if I am "seen" for "the WEIRD/CRAZY person I am" (which I now see as an Indigo Child/Lightworker), and so that I must "pretend" to be "sane" and "not a threat" so I will be "safe".
As I have mentioned in previous posts, nobody is your friend, nobody is your enemy, everyone is your teacher - and I am so thankful that this girl triggered me as it helped me trace things back to the root (of being bullied) so now I can speak more openly without fear of being seen as "crazy" because I now know I am safe even someone doesn't like me or understand me - ESPECIALLY WHEN I AM ATTEMPTING to educate people on something which might impact their health!
I was happy to see where my sense of rage came from - which was early on in childhood - and equally had to remind myself that it is more important that I speak out for what matters instead of trying to impress people - especially those who I barely know! ((WHILE ALSO HAVING EMPATHY FOR THEM, EVEN IF THEY DO NOT AGREE WITH ME!))
See, I am learning my own lessons here!
And I am being patient with myself as a lifelong recovering people-pleaser!!!!
I wavered between asking her what she meant by "Lol" and blocking her; and in a moment of repulsion, I unfriended this person and the other random person who "liked" her comment, which is exactly the OPPOSITE of what I want to do; ....
In the choice between CURIOSITY and JUDGEMENT, I JUDGED!!!
I find it interesting that I was judging someone for (potentially) judging me negatively...
I know I still have some work to do on this issue :) CLEARLY!
I used to pride myself on being liked by everyone and have tons of friends in school growing up (and being liked by everyone - from the goths to the popular kids) - My desire to be liked came from a survival instinct because I felt safe if I felt like "everyone liked me"! (Even if they liked the version of me that played small/pretended to be weaker than I was so as to not be a threat.../wore baggy clothes at summer camp so I didn't make the other girls jealous of my body since most of their boyfriends tried to date me...honestly it's true!)
Now that we are adults, I realize the same coping mechanism "I am safe if everyone likes me" is still operating which is something I need to break if I am going to share "crazy" ideas and protect myself emotionally at the same time...
Now that my views are perhaps CRAZIER than when I was in highschool and are in effect, more "polarizing", I have to decide if I want to speak up and risk alienating people or be quiet and not draw any attention to myself...
I want to figure out a balance of being open to other people's views while also not internalizing any disrespect from anyone...
"IF YOU WOULDN'T TAKE ADVICE FROM A CERTAIN PERSON, WHY WOULD YOU TAKE THEIR CRITICISM?"
Isn't that a fun quote?
What is something you are afraid to do for fear of what others think?
