Hello my one blog reader! I hope you are well.

I feel like a completely different person since I last wrote anything of length.

Writing this blog (the April-Nov 2020) was such a healing experience for me as it was the first time I was ever completely sincere and truthful with my views on a variety of topics, without fear of censorship or shame from others. There were moments when I felt pangs of fear and regret at sharing some of my unconventional views, but it was so liberating to finally do so and know I am actually safe regardless if anyone external approves of me.

I have been a lifelong people-pleaser which has been the total opposite of my rebellious creative divergent true soul nature. In order for growth, there usually needs to be uncomfortable conversations and I have avoided all of this until this year, as a way to keep the peace and have the illusion of safety and worthiness.

I know I am not alone in this!

Deep down, we all want to be accepted for who we are and our society/educational/economic system has made people feel inadequate/unworthy of love in their authentic nature "just as we are" and told we will become adequate with the right schooling grades, right clothing, right bank account, right LinkedIN (what an annoying website.. where is LinkedOUT am I right people? You know I love pun jokes like that... "Ericka Baddhu? More like Ericka Baddhon't! " "Oh, you play the DidgereeDoo? More like DidgereeDON'T! Hahaha)

ANYWAY, what I am trying to say is that I thank you for reading this blog and now for the first time, I know that my safety and worth is not tied to what people think of me/if I am liked, and this is truly the most liberating feeling I have ever had.

So much of my career ambition ("being FAMOUS") was a way for me to a) stop ecological disaster b) feel worthy and deserving of love c) feel safe and d) FEEL LIKED on a massive scale.

I now know that I have b) and c) and I sincerely feel hopeful for the first time in my life regarding a) as I now know the Earth will be here way long after you are reading this and I know that the Earth has a divine intelligence that knows exactly what it is doing and that part of the gift of being alive is to ENJOY the EARTH instead of mourning for her. This is what I was told in 3 recent plant medicine ceremonies (which is an entire blogpost/book in itself for another time)

I also know that I would actually be repulsed to have d) if I don't LIKE MYSELF FIRST.

Now I feel great and I no longer care what anyone thinks of me because I now realize that I am not "bad" or "unsafe" or "unloveable" if someone disapproves of me or I do not behave the way they want me to behave. 

This i only possible as long as I approve of myself.

Do you approve of yourself? That is the greatest foundation for love!!! And it feels great!

My new website is coming soon! This completion was only possible once I removed the fear of imperfection/fear of disappointing others. I have traced all these fears back to my terrible schooling where there was only "one chance" to get a good grade.

Our outdated schooling system (Teacher: "What is the capital of Brazil?" " Student: JUST GOOGLE IT, BRO")is one of the most toxic things for children to experience and I hope to find or create a school that teaches children to be confident, loving, peaceful, ambitious, healthy, imaginative, inventive and productive humans instead of bored good memorizers who base worth on external accolades.

In the wise words of Sweet Brown, "AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT" when you're trying to heal the world and start by healing yourself!

Until next time!