Yesterday I drove to my chiropractor for an adjustment as I have been spending the last few weeks spending (extra) time on the computer (looking for places to move/taking classes/etc) and my shoulders have felt like they climbed upwards into my neck to the point where I could not focus on anything but my physical pain. I left my breathwork class early because I literally could not concentrate - and made an appointment to go to my trustworthy chiropractor, who luckily had an availability 2 hours in the future.
After my adjustment I felt like a different person. My anxiety and anger and general discomfort I have been carrying around for the last 2-3 weeks subsided by about 95% and then I had a huge epiphany.
The American life of sitting at a desk causes a lot of neck pain/physical discomfort which most people subconsciously numb using painkillers/alcohol/processed foods/sugar. This numbing not only blocks out their physical pain but also emotional pain, which is why people tolerate both discomfort + disrespect in their own life but also injustice to those around them/our planet.
If only people were not brainwashed into thinking going to a chiropractor was a "pseudoscience" and actually tried to get an adjustment, they might actually realize that there is a root to their pain/and a solution!
Most painkillers turn off empathy and this is exactly a perfect example of 'why things are the way they are' (for now)
I mentioned this to my chiropractor and he completely agreed!
After I left, I crossed a busy intersection and walked to the beach in Malibu and ran along the sand with no shoes on. I left my bag and shoes on the beach (which was very trusting for me) and just ran without caring what people thought of me. It was so nice and freeing and it made me realize that I truly do love being near the ocean/the salt air that never gets too dry, and it made me realize I do not want to move that far from the coast or my incredible doctors (who are all considering leaving California as well, sadly!)
I really wish to design a commune for highly sensitive people and artists and holistic healers where we all live in sustainable housing and come together for meals/to work on projects. I really loved the Osho documentary Wild Wild Country because it showed that an independent community was possible (even if the intention of that movie was to defame and criminalize Osho... but that wasn't what I got from it!) To me, I saw it as the potential for new civilization that was interfered with by the control matrix trying to teach Osho a lesson that he could not leave the matrix!
PS I WANT TO MOVE TO THE STATE OF JEFFERSON! (NOT KIDDING!)
Osho was also a projector in Human Design and in a parallel life, I would like to be an Osho type leader (minus the orgies/Rolls Royces/drugging homeless people) hahaha
In other news, when I was a child my favorite movie was Sixteen Candles starring Anthony Michael Hall and Molly Ringwald. This was partially because my 4th grade crush reminded me of Anthony Michael Hall but also because it was such a beautiful story with a magical ending (I won't ruin it for you if you haven't seen it!)
After the movie was made, of the main actors who played "Jake" decided to quit acting and open up a carpentry/wood working company in Pennsylvania. I remember hearing this as a child and being like, "WHY WOULD HE GIVE UP HOLLYWOOD? WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?" and now I completely respect him for following his true passions instead of what society deems "succesful"
I really have so much respect for carpenters/people who can actually build things and even Jesus Christ was (apparently) a carpenter, which is even cooler.
"WWJD? (build a beautiful tree house)"
When I worked at a vintage store in Manhattan, we had a very handsome Fedex delivery man come everyday who all the girls had a crush on and would say "he should be a model". He was such a nice and goofy guy and always wanted to come see me do standup comedy which was very encouraging; we became Facebook friends and now he lives in North Carolina as a carpenter.
These are 2 men who could have chosen to be used for their bodies in a way that they didn't have control (Hollywood/modelling) but they chose to use their bodies to create things in the physical realm and create their own idea of success.
Our society glamorizes actors and sports players above all else which is really so harmful to children's impressionable minds/inherent interests -- but also genius on the part of those who control society, because it shows how much they want our society to values 'distraction' (entertainment) which makes it possible for everyone to sit at their desk all day with their neck crunched up to their head like mine was until yesterday afternoon, ignoring their true desires like running on the beach with no shoes.
* * *
On my way home I had a funny thought that the one good thing about this pandemic is that no men on the street can flirtateously harass me to "smile" anymore! Nobody can tell under my mask whether I am constantly scowling or not. I could say in a monotone voice, "I am smiling, you just can't see"
After that fun thought, I decided to stop at a wonderful Middle Eastern restaurant that has the best hummus and falafel I have ever had. Driving and parking in Los Angeles is very stressful and when I finally found a parking spot near the restaurant, something inside of me told me to research Highly Sensitive People (HSP) and I found an INCREDIBLE website called HighlySensitiveRefuge that I have been devouring the last 12 hours since I discovered it!
I am 100% a HSP and I realize now that my resistance to getting a job comes from the fact that I am no longer medicated/numbed so I have been so wary to find a job and be overstimulated again. This website seems like a wonderful resource for me to figure out how to be employed/employ myself - as a highly sensitive person. Perhaps if you resonate with my writing, you may like this website too!
PS I have decided that until FreePeople pays it's workers fairly, I will never write for their blog again (which I don't even think is happening anymore anyway)
You can read all my past articles on sensitivity/health HERE
Lastly, this ALBUM IS AMAZING!
TOODLELOO! XOXO
1:15pm
People seek out alternative advice and alternative medicine only when the conventional answer is not satisfying;
Right now/possibly forever, the conventional answers are not cutting it.
Conventional medicine is not cutting it.
Conventional education is not cutting it.
Either you fix the conventional system or you have to expect people to seek out alternatives.
I am so happy I found the work of Nadine Artemis. She is living my exact lifestyle. She runs an amazing company with her husband called Living Libations (try their sea buckthorn oil!) and is an accomplished author and lives between Venice Beach and beautiful Ontario!
1:38pm
All I have known is New York City and Los Angeles and a burst of Ohio and upstate New York and Bali. I know that my purpose was to get off the prescribed road of saving the Earth and actually do things my own way; forge my own path; I know my purpose is to save my own inner Earth of a body and amplify that outwardly and help others. I did not know I would incarnate into such a time of history where the Earth needed such help; or I should say, humans needed such help. It is just so strange that I wished to save the Earth my whole life and now in a way, I am really being called to take total exodus from the plan I always thought - which was to have a television show like The Daily Show with Jon Stewart ; but now I realize I have the power to do this on my own using the internet! What is stopping me besides fear? Nothing!
As I learned, fear is a way to control the outcome to a scenario to avoid pain. But the pain of an action is worse than the inaction to avoid pain. Isn't that so simple yet so fascinating?
