Here are 2 photos from my birthday on a trip to Palos Verdes, an area by the ocean south of Los Angeles, which I was recommended to check out for it's "incredible energy" (which was accurate!!!)
I have been feeling like a sick zombie the last 6 days and I just got back from my doctor (who I see every 3 months - not to be confused with my chiropractor) and my doctor told me that my levels of GABA neurotransmitter are literally 0% and he says that it makes sense that the bread would cause this as my body cannot handle gluten!
He told me also that I have to do a lot of self forgiveness and prescribed the Hoponopono Mantra which I did today in the car and will do everyday, towards myself and others. (details on that below)
I felt so ashamed at how sensitive my body is to bread/stress and had felt very guilty the last few days as my brain fog and exhaustion came back like it used to be 4 years ago and it has honestly been very frightening.
Despite how horrible I felt (exhaustion, Obsessive behavior, brain fog, anger, easily overwhelmed) I drove on the highway to a beautiful peaceful area called Palos Verdes with George and though it was so beautiful, I honestly could not handle the combination of highway driving mixed with talking/listening in the car.
It is like I can just focus on one task at once or my brain melts... Speaking of melts, George made me the most delicious melted vegan cheese sandwich on gluten free raisin bread, but apparently even the gluten free bread (mixed with the sugar of the raisins) probably was not a good combination for me on the morning of my birthday, as I felt my blood sugar crash and almost didn't even get on the road...
By the end of the day, I had George drive my car home and literally felt like I was having a panic attack in the car, as we drove past all the blaring lights and homeless tent encampments which sadly line the streets here in almost every neighborhood...
It was very humbling to feel as sick today and these last few days as I used to feel pretty much my whole life - but now at least I know what causes it which I am so thankful for; it also gives me even more sympathy for the millions if not billions of sensitive people on this planet who are experiencing mysterious mental and physical afflictions (which are all the same thing when it comes down to it - imbalance of some sort!) and have no idea that their diet is partially to blame, and keep going to mainstream doctors/the television for answers (who are often brainwashed by the USDA food pyramid, which is paid for by the lobbyists in this country)...
What is fascinating is that it sounds so silly to blame bread for such a dramatic mood swing; but seeing my doctor today and actually running tests verified that it is not all in my head that I have been feeling incredibly awful since about the 13th... he can actually see it too, without me even telling him! PS like all the modalities that have helped me, these are not "taken seriously" by Western medicine and are deemed 'quackery' - in terms of the specific tests, we use an amazing machine called ZytoScan along with muscle testing to determine what is going on in the body...
He also said that in addition to the bread, my brain was being captured by all the negativity of the collective energy here in America (especially in Los Angeles) and that he actually prescribed that I DO NOT LOOK AT SOCIAL MEDIA OR THE INTERNET until I feel better.
This felt like God speaking through him because my doctor is OBSESSED with reading and researching and I credit him to teaching me so much "unpopular theories" as I have mentioned in previous posts; I would of course not believe anything he said if it wasn't for the fact that he literally hashealed me and thousands of other people from a variety of afflictions including cancer, AIDs, Herpes (I have the blood tests to prove I no longer have it anymore) and so much more...
He, like almost every other holistic doctor I know and have been helped by is 'secretly' voting for Trump solely on the issue of vaxxinations because Trump says he will not make them mandatory. Like my own eye-opening healing from Gardasil, these doctors have equally seen thousands of people who experienced "mystery illnesses" (or had children who experienced them) right after their routine shots and for this reason, all of these well-meaning medical souls who are clearly not racist or sexist or anti-immigration (some of them are immigrants themselves!) are voting for medical freedom, offered by the person that most people (at least the ones I know here in Los Angeles and New York) are least likely to equate with physical freedom.
It is just such a strange time of questioning everything I have ever known, when the people who are the purest and most generous have to literally hide from sharing both their political views (and their amazing technology in order to stay afloat. If my doctor were to admit that he has helped people with AIDS and cancer (I met an old man in the waiting room who drove from Vegas and said my doctor healed his cancer), the government would likely raid his office like they have raided thousands of other holistic doctors...
Even me writing this is sadly risky but my own healing journey is also what woke me up to so many other things... (like the fact that "eco-friendly" flourescent lights are terrible for our health!) and regardless of what happens, I AM A WARRIOR and nobody can make me do anything again and God is on my side and I am so grateful to have been saved by God's love, even if that is also unpopular to admit, which really makes you think, doesn't it?
I don't care anymore - I am here for God and the truth and as Jesus Christ said, forgive them for they know not (or had their intuitions turned off/got literally brainwashed!)
We incarnated at this strange time to speak up for the truth, and I know I have been blessed with all these strange health issues and privilege to be able to focus on healing them now for a reason. I did not come to Earth to give up, and despite this bread setback (haha was JESUS GLUTEN INTOLERANT?!?!? Probably not because the bread was much. better quality than it is now.. like when rich women say "I can eat bread in France and never gain weight") I came here to live a joyful fun life of helping myself and others rise up from victimhood to victory, in our own minds, hearts, spirits and external lives.
I want you to know if you are reading this blog, you likely have the same mission in some respect as your sensitivity is also your gift, like mine is, and even though we might have questioned ourselves, we are finally taking the time now to hopefully love ourselves, possibly for the first time and forgiving ourselves more and more - for hating the parts of ourselves that are actually our greatest strength.
I want you to take a break from reading and say, with your eyes closed....
IM SORRY
PLEASE FORGIVE ME
I THANK YOU
I LOVE YOU
(repeat with deep breathing and courage, 5 times)
You can press play on the link above and close your eyes.
Say it in your heart to yourself and let your heart open to how many times you may have abandoned your inner voice and magic but now it is okay to cry and feel everything!
You are going to remember that you are so deserving of love no matter what happens; and your self-hatred can be replaced by self-love for there to be real healing.
Hate never heals us; as fun as it may feel; it is Love. Love for ourselves, love for other people, even the noisy guy in the park who was just clipping his toenails right near me as I tried to meditate or Bill Gates or Donald Trump or Joe Biden or Hillary Clinton or any of the other people we might have hatred towards....
I actually made a 1 minute video of this concept and I will be debuting it soon... : )
Anyway, I realize that I need to take a break from my concern over politics and macro-societal things because it has given me a lot of stress and I need to trust that whoever wins, it really doesn't matter - we will always have freedom but it starts with our own minds.
I must decide where to live based on my heart and desire for Oxygen; not because of any arbitary things I am told to be afraid of....
Now, it is officially "Doctors Orders!" to avoid excess Dopamine, which was my goal all along!
Off to drink my GABA Oolong tea and cry and heal myself and buy cryptocurrency and listen to singing bowls online and edit the videos I made today in the park!!! Thank you for being on this journey with me and for celebrating my birthday with me!
