Excuse me while I craft this post which I hope sounds coherent as I still have some brain fog from the wild combination of gluten, Mercury in Retrograde, and whatever else I can blame as to this level of imbalance I am feeling at the moment...

For my birthday I had a vision of driving with my friend George on the highway (a birthday achievement in itself as a new highway driver) to Palos Verdes, which is a beautiful upscale area South of Los Angeles near the ocean, with lots of golf courses and ocean tidepools filled with crabs and sea cucumbers (according to my friend Spencer who went last week!)  

I mainly wanted to go here on my birthday specificially because my friend Cindy (who I went to Sedona Arizona with after only meeting her once, through my magical doctor) told me that "Palos Verdes is the only place in or near Los Angeles with peaceful energy" so I wanted to see for myself...as she and I are very similar in sensitiity and had an immediate connection (but she moved to Taiwan to be with her family and pet rabbits)

ENJOY SOME DOPAMINE FROM SOME PHOTOS TAKEN YESTERDAY WITH MY IPHONE 7 CAMERA!!!

After finally making it there yesterday, I can tell you that Cindy was right! As soon as George and I arrived to Palos Verdes, the energy was completely different than Los Angeles. 

Places people romanticize living in like Malibu and Beverly Hills and Santa Monica are "nice" to me but they still feel like luxury malls or something; basically the energy still feels like a rich stressed city; not a place of relaxation, which is why I do not envy people who live in $10 million manions in Malibu (especially when George says people secretly sleep in Malibu State Park for free!) 

Anyway, as soon as we arrived in Palos Verdes, I felt this magical energy shift in my stomach like a grounding feeling, as if my stomach ate the perfect amount of potatoes or rocks (if they were somehow edible)... (ps alligators eat rocks to stay underwater longer - FUN FACT FOR YOU!) I just felt so wonderful there.

Yesterday had a lot of twists and turns to get there however and I feel called to share my experience.

I woke up and George made me a delicious gluten-free vegan grilled cheese sandwich on raisin bread with avocado and a celery juice and then brushed my hair (which is my favorite thing) and cut the split ends of my hair as it has gotten very long and then 30 minutes later, I started feeling brain fog from the gluten-free bread. Even though it was gluten-free, it still made me feel unstable in my blood sugar (probably because it has raisins in it, which are extremely sweet) - but I had to just take a break for an hour to "sober up" from my food coma and eat protein powder and water, so I could drive on the highway...

We finally started leaving and as I got into my car, one of my neigbors began telling me a story about how her psychic told her to move to Canada, and though she was perfectly well-meaning and oblivious to my discomfort, my brain felt like it was held hostage and I just wanted to leave as I felt like I had very little patience and resiliency from my blood sugar crash. 

Finally, George and I drove to the gas station and as we parked to get gas, a tiny man about 4'10 feet tall, in his 50s , Middle Eastern with light blue eyes (or cataracts) muttered some terrible curse words loudly as he was refilling the gas station pumps and George and I asked if he was Okay and he said a distracted female driver almost ran him over (perhaps because he was so small?! Oh no! )and I felt so bad for him and George and I tried to comfort him but it was just another notch in my emotional "belt of overwhelm". 

Then, we sat in the car, still at the gas station, looking up directions to Palos Verdes and realized my phone speaker was not working. George and I drove back home to get a notebook so he could write down directions by hand and then say them to me as we were driving; this whole delay added another level of exhaustion but I wanted to perservere because I was determined to go to the GOOD ENERGY PLACE FOR MY BIRTHDAY!

We got home, got directions, got back on the road and I drove all the way there on the highway, which was a big achievement as it was the I-5 highway to the 1-110 highway, which is very narrow and old (one of the oldest highways in America)- 

As I drove, I could feel my body overwhelmed - so much so that everytime George motioned with his hands as he was talking, my eyes got distracted from the road and I could tell my body or brain was going to have a panic attack if we did not get somewhere calm soon for me to close my eyes and meditate.

I had to use the restroom so we pulled up to a strip-mall containing a supermarket (WholeFoods) but I was quickly reminded of the "new normal" because dozens of people were lined up outside in their masks to enter - and there was no way I was going to wait that long just to use the bathroom so I snuck into a delicious-smelling pizza parlor and secretly used their bathroom, looking in awe at all the huge pizza pies coming out of the ovens and the enthusiastic (mostly overweight) customers waiting for their melty hormone rich casein cheese // heavily Glyphosate sprayed GMO gluten crust // factory farmed cortisol-rich unidentified animal topping // pesticide laden overcooked but still delicious vegetable topping// covered pizza , offering a temporary high I so equally enjoy, but cannot physically or emotionally tolerate.

I truly believe that it is my sensitivity to the world that woke me up to learning so much about life ; I often envy  people who can eat normal foods without having immediate or 3-day delayed reactions like I do; but I also know that I was forced to wake up. And nobody likes being woken up, from actual sleep or spiritual sleep.

Anyway, we finally got back into the car and George mentioned that in the time period of me using the bathroom, he managed to eat someone's discarded sushi and 2 pieces of pizza and said the sushi had "the perfect amount of Wasabi spice" as if he was doing a dumpster review, which is funny and feels like a horrible reality show waiting to happen, especially considering this was a very upscale fancy mall area - I have learned to appreciate George's ways instead of feeling self-conscious and he is conscious to only forage for food when I am not near him so I do not feel any anxiety.

Anyway, we got back into the car and FINALLY MADE IT and it was so beautiful. I really loved being there so much and though we didn't make it to the ocean (we just walked through a beautiful field), I want to go back...

The only issue is was that where we parked the car was right by a huge 5G tower and I honestly tried to ignore it but then George tried to use his tape recorder to record our experience of the day but the sound of the 5G tower made so much radio interference it was hard to record.

I told George I needed to meditate so I sat in my car with the doors open (still right below the 5G tower) but I honestly felt a pressure on my head and I truly believe it was the 5G tower as when we drove away, I felt better.

Things only started to get worse as it started to get very foggy and I had a difficulty seeing through my car windows, as the fog here is mixed with dirt, so I decided to let George drive home instead but I was so dehydrated and felt terrible from not having enough protein during the day and not taking proper time to meditate before driving home; 

To top it off, driving at night in Los Angeles is honestly so upsetting as there are so many homeless tents everywhere and as I stared out the window, George began talking to me, and all of a sudden, everything felt blurry and I realized I was hyperventilating and perhaps having a panic attack.

It was as if the entire day took it's toll on me and I could not handle any more stimulation.

Thank God I just learned about the concept of the Highly Sensitive Person being a "Sensory Sensitivity" issue so I was not so shocked at how overwhelmed I felt.

I told George to stop speaking and buried my face into my hat the entire ride home and sat in the darkness of my car for 30 minutes before getting out.

When I got home I researched the term "Highly Sensitive Person Overload" as that was exactly the only way to describe how I felt and luckily, there are so many people talking about this!!!

I decided yesterday that I am determined to figure out the right level of stimulation for me to have...