9:05AM
I don't know about you but I could not sleep last night or the night before..
It was just the beginning of Mercury Retrograde on October 13th (which I still don't quite understand how people blame for everything, but it's a better scapegoat than the Je.ws! just kidding..do you like my edgy topical joke...? : / ....
Even though I have never thought of myself as a religious person, even when I ran Je.wish Rosaries™ (especially when I ran Je.wish Rosaries™), I find it very fascinating that as a human on this planet with a Je.wish cultural upbringing, the diet that Je.wish people are culturally encouraged to eat is lots of bleached flour breads (bagels/rye bread) with pickled fish and lots of cream, and starchy fried or boiled potatoes.
If I were to regularly eat the mainstays of this diet - dairy or bread, I would become extremely anxious and neurotic; and I truly do wonder if I am not alone in this...
I wonder if the Je.wish dietary trends were to change to reflect the glaring onslaught of chemicals in our modern genetically modified wheat, would there be less neuroticism/anxiety/weekly therapy ("analyst") sessions associated with Je.wish culture/stereotypes?
Basically, if Larry David ate an organic paleolithic grain-free wheat-free diet, would the stressful, neurotic + pride focused Je.wish characters of Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm be replaced by grounded, calm and generous philosophers who gardened and hiked peacefully each episode? How would ratings be if all of the Jewish people on television + directors/writers who unknowingly had gluten intolerances changed their diet to a gluten-dairy-free one? I honestly think it would be incredible!
Is me as a Jew half-jokingly (jew-king-ly?) questioning all of this still somehow considered a form of hate speech in 2020 America?
("DON'T TALK ABOUT JE.WISH PEOPLE, CARLEN! AND WE NEED MORE TOLERANCE FOR GLUTEN!... AND STOP BANNING TRANS FATS...THEY DESERVE TO BE HERE TOO!" - misguided white Liberal social justice warrior activist on Facebook who champions anti-bullying- SOUND FAMILIAR?)
On a serious note, this is one of the many things we are not taught about - the mental health outcome of our diets!
If you remember, 2 days ago in a moment of Indica-induced bliss, I ate 3 pieces of wheat bread; and then because nothing offensive happened to me immediately, those 3 pieces acted as a "gluten gateway drug" for me as I went on to eat 2 pieces of delicious sourdough bread with rosemary in it.
Again, like a sneaky drug dealer who knows just the right dose to hook their clients, I was "fine" from this bread addi(c)tion, so then yesterday George made me my dream lunch of a Philly Cheese Steak which I hadn't had since I was in 4th grade (note: all all ingredients fresh, organic and lovingly picked fresh from the dumpster, without an inkling of decay, which one would understandably think of when imagining a dumpster...)
The cheese we used was plant based as I am still allergic to dairy, the meat was organic grassfed steak, the red onions were caramelized in organic avocado oil, the bread lightly toasted with a dollop of vegan mayonaisse... IT WAS A PERFECT DREAM SANDWICH FOR ME!
And ps, 30-40% of food in this country is thrown away EVERYDAY; and often times food is thrown away even if it hasn't spoiled but in order to 'make room' on the supermarket shelves. It is a broken system and I hate waste and I have no problem eating clean organic food that has been discarded by supermarket staff "just doing their jobs" - food thrown away without any appreciation for it's lifeforce, and would otherwise be decomposing in a landfill, leading to carbon release and waste...
Have you ever tried to grow a plant? I have, and I can tell you that I do not have a green thumb yet!
It is such a miracle for any plant to grow, let alone an entire celery stalk, or for a pure and innocent cow to end up an entire butchered steak, sitting in a dumpster, without even an ounce of gratitude for the sacrifice of it's life. It is so cruel and terrible the way things are and I am so in awe of my friend George for being the only person I know to actually do something about it at a literal grassroots/garbage roots level.
If America really and truly cared about cli.mate change and true sustainability and even poverty, we would change this system of food waste and stop glorifying Amazon.com's throwaway culture... Food decomposition is one of the major causes of carbon release - but alas, the entire mainstream cli.mate change movement is not about saving our planet as I once naively believed, it is about getting people to give up their rights to driving/having dominion over their life choices/consolidating power and increasing taxes along with attempting to corral people into 'smart' cities where they can be constantly monitored and physically, mentally and spiritually weakened through G.M.Os, E.MF radiation. and estrogen-increasing processed soy products....
To be clear, even though I now regularly eat pasture raised grass fed beef for my health, I still think we absolutely need to ban factory-farming and stop rainforest destruction for soy + animal farming - only small scale farming of any kind (plants or animals) is sustainable in my opinion.
As I have mentioned before, just because I have begun to eat meat for the first time, and now credit it as one of the main factors in healing my brain, I am in no way villanizing a vegan diet; I think it works for some, I am just saying that the narrative of sustainability through G.M.O. "Beyond Meat" veganism is not actually sustainable or healthy for a large part of the population, including myself!
It is hard for me to believe this glaring oversight is all 'naivety' on the part of our elected officials.... but perhaps this is just my gluten-induced paranoia this morning...
Again, is me discussing all of this considered a form of hate speech in 2020 America? I am sure if I posted this on Facebook, it would be taken down! Not kidding, sadly!
PS I am going to finally move this blog off of the Blogspot platform, which is owned by Google! I know I have mentioned this before but it's happening! I also got an email address at Protonmail, which I HIGHLY RECOMMEND! Getting all important data off Google/Youtube/Facebook/Instagram and moved to honest non-Orwellian companies entirely is one of my main priorities! Stay tuned!
But back to my bread "experiment" this week, I could feel myself getting gradually more and more anxious as the day went on;
Of course, like villanizing Mercury in Retrograde, you cannot "prove" any one thing is the culprit to your day of disorganization/anxiety without looking at one's day or life as a whole ; however I KNOW that eating all of that bread finally caught up with me, and in addition to our societal and planetary situation which is tenuous and stressful enough if you look outward or upward, eating this seemingly innocent and pillowy-soft bread amplified giving me a level of anxiety I have not felt in months!
As someone who is gluten intolerant, I know I am not supposed to eat bread but I forgot exactly WHY and HOW it affected me. (Until this morning, after a night of no sleep....)
What bread does for me is it makes me feel obsessive in my thinking - my thoughts go in a circle over and over. I can't imagine if I had combined this with real cheese (casein being the dairy's main culprit for me) - OY VEY...
PS there is a great book on this topic called GRAIN BRAIN by Dr Permultter, which I may have mentioned...
The things I have been worrying about in an obsessive way the past few days are potentially 'real' in nature (though worrying about them does not solve them) but the circular motion of my thought and feeling of paralysis are not helpful in actually dealing with them...
If I could put "worrying" on my resume, that would be amazing...
Last night, though I did not watch television, I learned that Joe Biden said he would mandate vac.c.ines , while Trump said it would be up to each person to make that decision, if he becomes president....
Because we all live in a Free Will society in this timeline reality, no matter who is president, we will all be able to avoid getting a vaxxine, but this will likely be akin to refusing to download the latest iOS for your phone...
Last night, while trying to listen to my new audiobook on HSS HSP (Thrill by Tracy Cooper), all of a sudden the Audible app stopped working, and when I tried to re-download it, it told me that I had to have iOS13 or higher to play it. I found this frustrating considering that Audible abruptly decided this and basically booted me off of the service without my consent.
(I only signed up for the free-month service of Audible, which is owned by Amazon, which I try to avoid as much as possible since Amazon is a whole other story of corruption in itself even though I will openly admit that I am hypocritical and did begrudgingly but excitedly buy a pair of shoes on there made by Harley Davidson and I am honestly very excited for them to arrive in a few days - so I am not completely immune from the thrill of Amazon! I have only 1 pair of sturdy shoes which are hiking shoes so it will be nice to have a nice pair of boots! I have very few articles of clothing and have not bought anything since the pandemic started!!!)
Anyway, clearly my boundaries with corporations are a bit skewed (afterall, I am using an Apple laptop, made in a sweatshop, on a Google owned free blogging service here complaining about corporatocracy) however I refuse to update my iPhone7 to iOS13 or higher because it will take too much memory and intentionally degrade my phone (watch the AMAZING documentary on planned obsolescence to see how tech companies intentionally break down your products so you are forced to buy new ones for purely economic benefit - this started in the 1920s... do you think this has gone away?
I intuitively beieve it has only gotten worse and has now stretched out of technology and homegoods to annual "fl.u sh.o.ts"/etc... please know I only have the best intentions when sharing this type of material after my own personal experiences!)
Anyway, just like refusing to upgrade your phone, if you refuse to downgrade your health with this upcoming vaxxine, you will survive - just not have access to most societal things.
Refusing iOS13 on my phone gives me the inability to do banking/listen to podcasts/use most high-tech apps... refusing to download vaxxines into your arm will (likely) give you the inability to access entering schools/banks/international travel/malls/etc.....
If I had not been sick for years after taking the Gar.da.sil vaxxine - or if my dad's cancer had not come on literally right after getting a flu shot which he got extremely sick from - if I didn't know about the genetic mutation MTHFR which I have and how we do not detoxify properly....if I did not have an intuition turned on or spent years studying this as a way to heal my health, perhaps I would be less wary, but I have invested too much of my time and money into healing for me to acquiesce to a vaxxine that have no long term safety testing for a virus with a 99% survival rate. NOPE.
ANYWAY, the goal for me, and hopefully for you too, is to focus on what we DO HAVE CONTROL OF and what we CAN DO to live our lives in the healthiest, most autonomous and joyful ways possible.
We cannot control anyone else but ourselves; we cannot convince others to think exactly like us....
And literally, something I forget over an over is that WE CAN SHIFT INTO DIFFERENT REALITIES.
We can travel to different timelines of reality like a choose your own adventure game.
This sounds 'crazy' but when we change our frequency, we actually change our reality.
This has been one of the most fascinating and magical things I have ever learned, and something which is hidden from humanity; knowing the true power of our emotional energy and imagination.
Even the people who are truth tellers like myself are doing a disservice if we/they present Orwellian doom-and-gloom things like surveilance capitalism and medical mandates as "inevitable" - THEY ARE NOT. THEY ARE ON A DIFFERENT TIMELINE OF REALITY IF WE BELIEVE THAT TO BE.
We can have exactly what we want if we believe it is possible and fuel our energy and actions into this reality.
This is not delusion or fantastical escapism I am talking about but actual quantum physics and traveling to different timelines of reality!
This is why I am not in any way puzzled at the fact that conspiratorial and mainstream fear porn as a whole is not censored because it keeps people in a victim mindset and makes those realities more likely to happen.
Research (on Duckduckgo, not Google) the concept of Predictive Programming and Quantum Physics...
This may sound insane but when you look into it, it is one of the most powerful things at play with our realities.
We are being told what to be afraid of as a way to energetically fuel those realities... I am sorry if I in any way have fueled your fears by sharing what I have learned.
I am hoping that anything I share is treated as information and things to be aware of; but not to be afraid of.
WE ARE SO POWERFUL AND WE CAN HAVE ANYTHING WE WANT.
I know this sounds a bit manic to go in this optimistic direction with what I am discussing but this is not the bread talking here, this is me :)
We really are in a spiritual battle : of using our imaginations against ourselves instead of for ourselves/our liberation... but now we can choose differently.
What is it you want in your life? What do you want to bring onto this planet? Where do you want to live? What do you want to be doing and with who?
You can have anything you want as long as you begin to take action as if it is already happening and on it's way to you!
I am not going to give into the fear of dread of an inevitable depression/totalitarian medical dictatorship... I am going to live as if we are all sovereign and free.... and join the timeline where this is true.
This 'unscientific' concept I am sharing is what was one of the main messages of my channelled book which was written in automatic writing and which I will be releasing soon to those who request it.
For today, I am going to listen to my fears while lovingly taking action to assuage them, do some work, exercise (which always boosts mood and Dopamine), thank my body, go eat lots of salads, research cryptocurrency, listen to the rest of the Thrill audiobook (from my computer, which does not make you update it to listen!), and possibly attend a wonderful rally today at 2pm at the beach....
Although I feel terribly anxious today, as I began to write, I realize there is a reason for these feelings and I am going to listen to them - but take action on moving ahead in faith and love....
As a meme once said...
"Feelings are like children. You don't want them driving the car, but you shouldn't stuff them in the trunk either"
