It is only now can I have true friendships where I am completely myself, because I know that 'myself' is a safe strong place to be.
Psychic and energetic protection and hygiene are things that have helped me so much (I learned a lot from Psychic Meditation class at the Portland Psychic School in 2017!)
Of course we are not taught these tools in school but has changed my way of experiencing the world so much!
I imagine that many people drink alcohol to turn off their empathic gifts; but they wouldn't have to numb themselves if they knew how to handle it!
My friend and I had a discussion this morning about how one of my underlying reasons for wanting to help everyone (her/people I meet and society at large) is a bit "selfish" (which is funny to think about - we both found it like an epiphany);
I realize because I sometimes have forgotten to set up energetic shields around myself , I can pick up on other people's emotions -- so in a way, I am wanting to help people because I am picking up on their negative energy so I want them to stop feeling negative so I can stop feeling their negativity.
It's like I have wanted to fix people so I don't feel their pain.
Something I have been practicing is making sure to envision a protective energetic bubble and commanding that energy that is not mine go back to where it came.
I am not responsible for healing anyone else by losing myself.
I can only help others when I am in a grounded place.
It dawned on me why I have not come into the role of 'healer' in a public way just yet... and I am slowly surely coming out of my shell in an authentic way, but not offering services yet to others.
THIS IS ALL THE MISSING PIECE I NEEDED TO UNCOVER.
RELINQUISHING CONTROL OVER OTHER PEOPLE AND KNOWING I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE TO FIX ANYONE ELSE.
For example, I have been enrolled in a nutrition course and it is a go-at-your-own-pace and there has been some resistance in me finishing this and I realize it is because I do not want to get lost in my clients or people I help.
Once I can be fully MYSELF in my own energetic field and not feel like I have to abandon myself to help others, I can be of service.
This is why right now I am learning to make small loving commitments to myself everyday - things as small as remembering to take vitamins and feed myself enough and remembering to do laundry and "NORMAL THINGS"
In order to sustainably help others I need to come from a grounded place where I am taking care of myself and remembering that feeling other people's pain does not make their pain go away; it is a "lose lose" instead of a "win win" as it just gives me pain and I no longer want to use my empathic gifts in a counterproductive way.
I give everyone the freedom to go through their lives and struggles without having to "fix" them and trusting that even if I give others advice, they don't have to take it - and it doesn't mean I have 'wasted my time' because I have learned a lot everytime I give others advice -
I see how hard it has been to change myself so how can I expect to change anyone else?
I am very excited to try Yarrow flower essence to see if this makes a positive difference to living life with such high levels of sensitivity/empathy.
OH HOW I WISH THIS STUFF WAS TAUGHT IN SCHOOL INSTEAD OF RIDICULED AS QUACKERY :)
(But again, I have to remove the wish for others to perceive me as "normal" or wish to stop their disappointment in me as a way for me to "feel good again" about myself! It is all the same pattern I am healing as it relates to WANTING TO CHANGE OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS - I must surrender to my own feelings and those of other people - even if they are negative - knowing I am safe in my own bubble, even if others are feeling negative, even about ME)
It is safe to be disliked now because I like myself, more and more each day, and know I can rely on myself more and more.
ALSO THANK GOD FOR AMAZON PRIME OOPS SHHHH
