Wednesday May 27, 2020
11:11am
11:11am
A fake tree which is actually a 5.Gee/4G cellphone tower...
In my attempt to understand the world and not make decisions from ignorance, I had the idea to have a conversation with someone from the telecommunication industry to see why they believe that 5.Gee is safe enough to roll-out globally during the quarantine...
I thought this week would be the perfect opportunity to do this (and put aside my invention for a moment) as I needed to cancel my internet (anyway) ... I thought that when speaking with the customer service representative over the phone during the cancellation process, I would bring up 5.Gee as one of my reasons for cancellation!
SO... I just got off the phone with my internet company to cancel my service - I explained to the customer service representative that my cancellation was partially because I no longer need internet, but also partially because I began having insomnia in my apartment --- and because of my health concerns, do not support the 5.Gee rollout happening and wanted to cancel -- afterall, this company is one of the major telecommunications companies to rollout 5.Gee technology here in Los Angeles, so how could I rationalize putting money into a company that is possibly hurting my health...?
Before finally getting through to a customer service rep (WHO WOULD IT BE? WOULD IT BE A MAN IN INDIA WHO GOES BY THE NAME "RICHARD" OR SOMEONE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE COUNTRY SITTING AT A CALL-CENTER? THE MYSTERY IS SO EXCITING!), I was put on hold for 1 hour 13 minutes - but I was determined to speak with someone, with the hopes that we could have a civil conversation and I could hear the internet company's stance on EMFs/5.Gee in regards to human health.
During the 1 hour 13 minute wait, they played really cheesy "hold music" but I made the most of it by making
🤘🎼🎵fun songs with this music as a background (with lyrics about the suspected health effects of Electromagnetic Frequencies and 5.Gee technology)...
Obviously these weren't the most "fun or catchy" lyrics to use in a song but this activity made the time go by so much faster (and made my fears go away)...
As I mentioned, I really hope I am wrong about so many of my intuitive/"conspiratorial beliefs - and especially about being concerned with 5.Gee ...
Obviously my insomnia connection to 5.Gee could be "a fake connection" but I would rather be given facts to support why any of these things are "fake" rather than just told to stop looking into these issues....
Because health concerns over 5.Gee and vacc1nes and the existence of geoengineering are 3 of the most heavily censored topics in the news/social media, it makes people stay in their "belief-bubbles" - and stay more likely to stay stubborn in their way of thinking (either as "conspiracy theorists" or "conspiracy denouncers"), because there is no unbiased information given and no encouragement of discussion/civil debate where people can discuss both sides of an issue and possibly update their stance...
I want to be part of a movement in this bridge of the Old and New Paradigm of people who initiate healthy discussions with people with different views, without labeling the other person "wrong" or right" - I just want to know the truth, especially on things that affect the health of myself and people/animals that I love :)
I know what it is like to feel misunderstood and I really do love talking with people with different viewpoints about all kinds of things and seeing the way people think and WHY they think what they do!
Just like "normal people" who are repulsed by scary theories about 5.Gee or Coronavirus, I would much rather believe that concerns such as these are crazy and unfounded; but in order to do that, I need to be given adequate and substantiated research that tells me that these fears are crazy, rather than censoring the topic/discussion and halting any kind of social progress/union of people to come together from opposing viewpoints...
Though many respected doctors/people in health that I know are very much against 5.Gee for health concerns and believe it is connected with artificial intelligence/tracking humanity (not for the public's help but more for domination/constant surveillance), I still would MUCH RATHER BELIEVE THIS IS A CRAZY CONSPIRACY and equally don't want to be afraid or only listening to one-side of the story!
On a side note, here is one of the "conspiracies" I am especially fascinated with... RH Negative Blood Types as it related to psychic abilities and electromagnetic sensitivity
And this fun one - military targeting of a specific genetic sequence called VMAT-2 called "The God Gene"..
Obviously this idea sounds absolutely "crazy" which is why I want to do more research and learn both sides (or all sides) of this theory and determine what I believe to be true!
I want to uncover whether this is true or not, as I would bet 100% I have this RH Negative bloodtype and VMAT-2 genetic type - based on these 2 CrAzY articles - and I absolutely just find the connection between genetics and personality so interesting!!!
Whether it's these strange topic or anything else, I want to hear all sides of an issue and make an informed decision from knowledge and not blind faith" or "blind fear"; I think that progress and evolution with any issue can only be made with research and an openmind/hearing all points of view, which I am trying to do in my own life...
1 HOUR AND 13 MINUTES LATER....
Once I finally spoke with a customer representative (who was a very nice man in Texas), I told him I was cancelling my internet partially over health concerns over 5.Gee...
Upon mentioning this reasoning, he laughed at me and told me that "it's all conspiracy theory" but then I lovingly asked him to tell me what the truth is - if there are any longterm studies (done by this internet provider) showing that 5.Gee is in fact safe.
I think my genuine curiosity possibly startled him and softened him into realizing that I was a human being and not just a "conspiracy theorist" he could dismiss as crazy/close-minded in fear.... I genuinely want to know the truth and am open to updating my viewpoints (even if I did have a building biologist come to my house to determine I am being exposed to "unsafe levels of radiation")
The customer service agent did some research while we were on the phone (and probably added my name into a log of complaints/dissenters) and sent me 4 articles below, which he says prove that 5.Gee is very safe for humans. I am very thankful to him for providing me with these.
- Something's In The Air from The Atlantic by Kaitlyn Tiffany
- The EMF Project from the World Health Organization
- "Electromagnetic Fields and Public Health" from the World Health Organization
NTP scientist weighs in on 5.Gee technology from the NIH
After he shared these articles, I shared with him my experience with insomnia in my highly radioactive apartment and I read aloud to him the first page of The5.GeeSummit - and he was very kind and I said I was thankful to have an open-minded conversation and he agreed...
You can check out The5.GeeSummit, which starts next Monday and make your own conclusions on this topic!
(And also read the articles offered to me in support of the 5.Gee rollout!)
That way we can make an informed decision based on facts not fears, just like I am trying to do :)
Just in the same way, I used to think anyone who ate meat was a terrible person and now eat meat once a week, I am equally open to hearing new perspectives that might better me!
I know part of my purpose is being a bridge to people with differing views to help bring peace; but this had to start with me healing my fear of being "labeled as crazy" for asking questions first...
5:51pm
One of my biggest shadows is being seen as "wrong" and being seen as "stupid" and being seen as "crazy" or being "disliked" for fear that if I am seen in these ways, I will be unsafe or unloved.
Do you relate to any of these?
I think this fear of judgement initially came from a well-meaning place to try to protect myself (actually I know it did)...
As a child, I did not want to draw any attention to myself that could be negative - because then I would risk being a target in some way (whether bullying on the playground or by teachers) - I would dress in drab asexual clothing and did everything I could to "hide"...
I know that my fear of being disliked/viewed as crazy has stopped me in the past from expressing myself authentically
Now that I am learning my own power and loving myself and healing to the point where I am self-sufficient for the first time, the question I am faced with...
WHAT IS SAFETY?
Is it safer to be approved of by people who I would not take advice from?
Or is it safer to pose questions which are for the betterment of myself and others and risk disapproval/being labeled as "wrong" or "stupid" or "crazy"?
Which version of Carlen am I safer as?
Or are they equal?
I am now owning the shadow that I may be viewed as wrong, stupid, crazy, or as someone who makes mistakes!
I am now owning that I am imperfect and not trying to convince other people that I am small/scared of them in order to feel loved!
I am crazy, I am stupid, I am unloveable, I am wrong, I am bad, I am dangerous - and equally I am sane, I am smart, I am loveable, I am right, I am good - depending on who you ask/whose opinion you value more...
We are not black or white; we are gray!
And now I am choosing to side with my OWN self-view; not the made-up criticism I am expecting from others to make up about me when I am completely authentic!
I now love myself even if other people think I am stupid or crazy or "bad" or wrong or unloveable.
So much of this has healed by doing my daily hypnosis on ToBeMagnetic.com which I have mentioned in the past!
This hypnosis program asks me to list people who are "Expanders"; people who have accomplished similar desires and came out on the other side...
Most of the people I admire most have been labeled crazy or stupid or "stirring trouble" by asking questions, such as Martin Luther King Jr. --
What if he played small out of fear of being targeted/seen as crazy/dangerous and never spoke up for civil rights?
Perhaps he would still be alive in physical form but he would probably have lived a life of silent misery withholding his soul's calling and (if you believe in reincarnation, he would come back to try to learn the same lessons in a new body...)
In a way, Martin Luther King Jr. is more alive now (through our celebration of him/inspiration by him) than had he lived a "safe"/unexpressed life....
WHAT IS SAFETY? How do you define it?
What happens when the fear of staying safe (ie. not speaking up) actually gets in the way of being safe? (ie. helping humanity stop potentially life-altering technology such as 5.Gee?)
What happens when the fear of criticism from others gets in the way of making things which other people might love?
Whose opinion do I value?
If I am disliked by a few people, does that make me unsafe?
The most important tool I have learned is to feel my body as my safe environment, like a mini Earth. If I connect with my body and know I am safe in this present moment and breathe deeply and stay positive that no matter what happens, I have the strength and protection to perservere, I know there is nothing I can't accomplish, even if I am disliked by others!
This is not only a Dopamine Detox but a people-pleasing and misbelief detox as well :)
8:48
I just went to the park and danced at the top of the park where the tall pine trees are and although there were people in the distance (who could see me dancing and think I am crazy), I thought to myself ::
"Whose opinion of myself do I care more about? Someone elses opinion? or my own?
Who am I here to please? Someone else? Or myself?
And now I realize, the answer is me :)
