It's strange that in what is considered the worst time in recent history, I feel happy for the first time since galloping on a horse at age 8 in Costa Rica.
I saw a funny meme of a woman celebrating New Years 2020 saying "This is the year I start dating!" and then it flashes forward to March 2020 and just shows her standing cross armed - or something funny - clearly not THAT funny the way I am describing it, hahaha... but you get the point!
I have been confused on what my next life steps are since August 2018 - I didn't even know if I was going to do the 2nd year of my graduate program in Spiritual Psychology from October 2018-August 2019, because I so desired to move out of Los Angeles, but didn't know where.
I *STILL* don't know where or what is the 'right' decision to take in my life, but I am happy to report that tonight I looked up at the (almost) full moon and prayed for an answer and it said to me::
"As long as you trust in yourself and God, there will never be a wrong answer to your journey" and I began crying because it is so true!
I have always looked for someone outside of me to tell me what is 'right' or 'safe' and it has never even worked out.
When I went to Bali, I asked everyone I knew who had been there "where I should go" and when I got there, all those places were extremely touristy and expensive and not my vibe at all.
It was only when I got in a taxi and had a premonition for the driver to stop the car in front of an ivy covered gate did I discover the incredibly magical ashram I was to end up staying at for an entire month! Even the cab driver told me "Sorry this place is closed" but in my soul I knew he was lying, and he was!
An old man opened the gate and I asked if they were open and he said "yes" but that I was the "only guest!"
I ended up staying alone in this magical ashram for a few days alone before anyone else showed up (to my introvert disappointment haha)
I learned later on that the taxi drivers are bribed by the expensive hotels to deter tourists from supporting the ashram/local cheaper places... and I am SO glad I listened to my intuition as staying in that ashram was one of the most important and memorable times of my life. PS I am still not a yoga buff person or anything; it was just the incredible magical environment of staying in a tiny bungalow on the ocean with no connection to America; and the time and ability to do whatever I wanted.
Everyday I would wake up , try to make the 6am yoga (which was just 5 people with a nice Balinese teenager who was probably 18, who taught the class), then breakfast, then walking into town to a small knitting store and drinking the strongest most delicious coffee I have ever had, while writing in my journal and devour THIS WEBSITE ON INDIGO CHILDREN and then going back to my little bungalow to rest; then lunch time; then taking an online course on Psychic Protection; then writing more and then reading books in the little library or getting accupuncture or going on a magical adventure or swimming in the ocean alone in a tiny bay where I could see puffer fish and octopi very close to me; and sometimes a beautiful poisonous black and white sea snake that was so beautiful and too shy to ever bother me; then dinner time! It was such a dream come true and I hope to go back soon.
Part of me thinks I should just go to Bali and I do hope to move there; but I want to get my businesses off the ground here first before I go!
Is that the right choice?
I don't know, but I am remembering to trust myself and God and know that in itself is the 'right' choice! Every decision has a blessing and a learning opportunity.
And as opinionated as other people are, even with the best intentions, I am learning to lean on myself and my intuition to make decisions from, instead of hiring other people to make my life choices for me.
I literally don't know if I will a) move back to New York and live with my aunt b) drive around California or New Mexico/Arizona (Southwest) or c) drive to Tennessee or North Carolina or Florida, where I feel called to or d) move to Bali and pray that I can get back into the country in a few months without having to do any mandarory toxic medical procedures at the airport to prove my health.
No matter what, I trust I will always survive and figure it out!
Even in these times, we must remember that we have always figured things out, and this time, though stranger, is still the same in that humans have the desire for self-preservation and we will FIGURE IT OUT!
This is true for you too, if you let it be! We are so much stronger than we are taught!
