People only shame or censor you if they think you and/or your idea is powerful; they don't censor you if they don't think that by you sharing your idea, you will ignite others to think differently as well.
People shame different ideas because they make their identities their intelligence; and they feel that if you have a different idea, then you must either be stupid/wrong or they must be wrong. If they have different ideas than you, then they must deem you stupid, otherwise they will have to re-evaluate their belief system, and most people have no desire to even question their identity.
I was forced to question my identity when I saw how much better I felt eating red meat; and this humbled me to questioning everything else.
***
I villainized my acne but it was a messenger of toxins
That I was legitimately not supposed to be eating
I villainized my anxiety but it was a messenger of a toxic childhood environment
That I was legitimately not supposed to be in
These are sirens
We don’t want to turn them off
It’s a sign your body is calling out for you to listen
Not something to be villainized
I was never crazy
At the independent spirit award with Ben I couldn’t eat anything but all those people eat garbage no wonder they need 5 hour energy drinks and potentially adrenochrome
They are so sick
They have been demonizing nature and magic for many years like herbalists and witches and inverting it but now people are waking up with only 10 years of internet which is nothing in the grand scheme of things !
WE DID IT
I felt like I never fit in ever
Ms Torres made me spit out carrots in front of class
Miss green yelled at me for using scissors
Ms pacifico called me a worry wart
Preschool teachers told me to stop using toilet words
In computer school “carlen finally stops saying sorry”
Creepy guy who would take
Us to lunch ps9
Ymca counselor w red hair was so creepy and held me up and touched my chest - but I was so young; was it an accident?
Was I molested at ps9 or Ymca camp or by babysitters?
When Anna stern tried to touch me and Julia Jordan - what happened to her to make her do that?
When me and Sarah Goldstein and Rachel Joynes and Ola and shannon lied in the bed together - was that our first sexual experience?
Why do I feel so afraid of sex and question if I was molested?
Or was it because my mom was molested that I am epigenetically processing her molestation?
When Pablo picayo twisted my arm backwards after I pushed him
Back on the ice at PS87
I was so strong
I got into fights with boys and stood up for myself.
Is there anything I am repressing?
“When you grew up in an incredibly abusive or invalidating environment, sometimes the way your brain and body learn to cope is by repressing memories”
I felt so alone I had nobody to talk to all the time
My mom didn’t look me in the eye
My dad yelled and had manic outbursts
I never felt safe or protected anywhere
Now I wonder why my vagina feels frozen and I have such a little sex drive even though I am off Prozac for years now.
This will change the more I take care of myself and create my own safe inner base.
Everything is inverted
Sex is wonderful
Money comes easily
I was put in many unsafe situations with unstable people either way so my way of coping was to stop creating (sexually, mentally, physically)
It all makes sense
We have all been traumatized in our own little corners of the world - and now we are taking our God given power back.
******
I am assertive and loved for it
I am strong and loved for it
I stand up for myself and I am
Loved for it
I don’t tolerate disrespect and I am loved for it
I make clear cut decisions and I am loved for it especially when it benefits me
I make choices with confidence and I am loved for it
I make choices based on what I like and I am still loved for it
“Hello my one reader” is me playing small to not be a threat
Me not standing up for myself is me playing small to not be a threat
Me wanting friendship with people like Ben and Kate and Tim who don’t appreciate my assertiveness is no longer attractive to me
I know my strength now
I have had it all along but it was underneath the trauma and programming and toxicity which needed to be removed
When I am assertive I get what I want
When i am assertive I am never abandoned because I am with myself
I don’t beg anyone to disagree or agree with me
It isn’t about them
They can have their own beliefs and I am safe and separate from them
I cannot prove anything is true I can only share my experience
My experience is true because it happened to me
I cannot claim anything more than my experience and what I have learned from other people because of their experiences
Scientific studies are all experiences that worked in favor of one outcome but they are all experiences and many studies don’t have 100% success which shows many experiences can be disregarded when they don’t fall in line with the desired outcome or conclusion
Discounting someone’s experience is not effective persuasion
Most people’s experience of health is that of one where they accept to feel mediocre at all times and accept they will have to go to the pharmacy to fill prescriptions the rest of their lives
I took Prozac
I watched my dad die of cancer
These are my experiences
Chemotherapy parties
I uncovered the belief “I will only be safe if I hide and play small” “I will only be safe if I agree with those around me” “I will only be protected if I hide my beauty or intelligence”
Summer camp made me learn that boys don’t like smart girls or girls who like nature - they only like girly girls who use those toxic body sprays of white musk or cucumber or raspberry
They don’t like girls with pimples who make weird voices and are tomboys
So I confirmed myself
—-
Get royal blue hoodie and shorts like the sexy girl named Jay
—
I am a warrior and my ancestors were warriors to get us where we are today / our ancestors had to trust their guts to get us where we are today / they had to leave their countries in world war 2 or hide if they were Jewish to get us where we are today
I am 99% ashkenazi Jewish and I come from a long line of people who had to do the unpopular or unordinary to survive
They had to change their names at Ellis island to start over again
—-
No other species self harms or self sabotages because they would be dead or extinct if there was a wallowing squirrel who cut himself — we are taught unhealthy coping mechanisms - it is not our inherent nature to turn anger inward - we must be molded to have so much unfelt or unexpressed pain that it has nowhere to go but internal
This is societal conditioning
If everyone dislikes me who is unhealthy
The people shaming me are not healthy they are indoctrinated
We have such an overemphasis on education and education is taught as fact, it is not “proven” as true
Can you imagine how fake history is now????
Kids smoke cigarettes
I don’t like it but they have the right to harm themselves
I have the right to not harm myself
All these things are an assault without my consent
“ Trust all women “
I don’t trust all women
GMO bee 2015 extinct list
Nobody cared
Chemtrails
Nobody cared and I felt like they ridiculed me
How can people not notice chemtrails ???
I got quiet about it but it doesn’t make any sense
Spiritual immune system
I am assured in myself and I affirm myself and the truth
I want to do my talk show more than make products
I only want products to support me and help people but my main drive is performing
So I will focus on that now
Kickstarter to build a tree house talk show
People spend $50,000 a year in America I can do 2 years for a lifetime of comfort
I can ask for help
I never saw my mother ask for help so I couldn’t imagine doing Kickstarter or anything
— reprogramming mind
Feel the feelings of anger and sadness of not having your needs met
Feelings get stored in the body just like mental memories
You need to feel the feelings to get them out
Think of the polar bear
Instagram is everyone expressing their views
The pattern is everyone expressing their views based on astrology
Do I want to consume their views or create my own????
If I don’t feel confident to create then I will
Society sets us up to consume
Consume produces
We aren’t taught how to do things our self
We are taught to consume ideas
We aren’t taught to be assertive in our ideas and think for ourselves - we are taught to blindly trust authority which is the opposite of thinking for ourselves
I no longer want to be a consumer of products and I no longer want to be a consumer of ideas - none of them have gotten me the level of satisfaction that the commercials and college brochures promised me
So it’s time to make my own
1-800.earth
Is the website
1-800-earth.com is the website !!!?!!!
Resources
How To
Dating
Become a member
So you can create and you can plant seeds
They don’t want us to plant our own seeds physically or mentally - both of those are organic creation - they want us dependent on their thoughts and their seeds - no more !!!!
I like that Angela sumner said she doesn’t over think anything she just does stuff
I love that and it is very helpful
