I had a very unhealthy relationship with my mother where she could not handle my emotions so I learned to be as emotionless as her. I now know she has dissociated from her emotions due to emotional and sexual and physical abuse - but of course as a child you don't know these things; you just know that your mother is visibly uncomfortable and/or facial-expression-less when you are crying and you felt unseen and ashamed that you can't keep it together.
I have taken a break from my mother for the first time to truly focus on loving myself; not trying to save her or prove to her I am succesful. I am finally focusing on myself and loving baby Carlen and telling her that she did not do anything wrong to have needs or emotions; she was just raised by 2 extremely traumatized parents who were not allowed to have their emotions or experience gentleness and presence from their own parents.
My parents had traumatized parents and I know it continues and continues.
IT'S TIME TO HEAL IT AND I AM DOING IT.
I am so in awe at how the dark forces have traumatized and controlled every aspect of humanity so succesfully and it is only a rare few in the collective who are transmuting and healing this darkness in ourselves.
The internet was shared with humans as a way to track them but in this short window of time we have had access to it, we have connected with each other in deeper ways than the Dark expected; and we have learned we are not so different after all; and we feel validated when we see others who also see the world through Christ/Lightworker eyes.
We are accessing healthy organic recipes and able to order organic things and connect with other people who have the mission of health and detoxification and it is just so profound.
I believe now that our DNA was altered and damaged so we would not have telepathic abilities the way we might have before; and the internet has been a synthetic way for us to access that ability as best as we can.
Some people who really resonate with me now are:
Where are all the conscious male warriors? Why is it only women?
Men have received so much traumatic programming; from birth/circumscicion to being told they can't cry to being told cooking is unmanly (so they are less likely to prepare healthy loving food for themselves/aid in their own detoxification)
We must detoxify our physical temple
to access our spiritual template.
I am so thankful I am not alone. I was never alone technically, I just didn't know it until now.
